Subject: Re: ***Pee Poll*** Guys ONLY Please Answer
Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2000 14:13:03 -0500
From: WWS <wschmidt@tyler.net>
Message-ID: <39C1233F.67CC8ECB@tyler.net>
Organization: WWCD
Newsgroups: alt.tv.real-world, alt.tv.snl, alt.tv.sopranos,
rec.music.gdead, rec.arts.tv, alt.2600, alt.fan.tom-servo
Dawn wrote:
>
> "Lori" <80s_child@my-deja.com> wrote in message
> news:39c105ac.17840438@news.cis.dfn.de...
> > "Dawn" <daculp@isot.com> wrote:
> >
> > >Girls do definitley know this. What YOU may not realize is that the
> > >Mens Restrooms are 10x *cleaner* than the Womans. Woman, apparently
> do not have much practice with *aiming* and they pee and poo all over
> the seat, back of the toilet and floor. Also it is an unwritten rule
> that you must use an entire roll of TP and try to flush it all at once.
> >
> >
> > Where do you live???
> >
> Texas
HAW HAW HAW!!! well if they would go ahead an sit on the damn seat
rather than standin' up so as not to git durty this kinda thang
wouldn't happen!
See, if you gonna use a urinal there's a hole lotta things you gotta
know. Do you know the Code of the Urinals? There is some
danged complicated ettykette that goes into a thang like that, you
can't just walk in and pick any old urinal without checking the code
first! I think some people's performance problems happen because
they haven't read up on their code, and they are full of the anksiety
born of the feeling that you're not sure if you really are where
you're supposed to be. Well, here, just so's everyone can brush up
on the basics, is a little test on the Code of the Urinals.
Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.
There IS a code of Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
===============================================
The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An X above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample):
| | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
-------------------------
You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at
which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!
--------------------
Easy Section
--------------------
1.)
| | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
---------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.
===============================================
2.)
| x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
greater risk of being next to someone
who arrives later.
===============================================
-------------------------
Kind of tricky Section:
-------------------------
3.)
| | | | | | | (empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
--------------------------
Your choice: __
----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying,
"I don't want anyone next to me."
===============================================
4.)
| | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 1 You're stuck being next to at
least ONE guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left.
NEVER go between TWO guys if you
can help it. Exceptions to this
are stadium restrooms where the
herd thunders in.
===============================================
-----------------------------------------------
Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
-----------------------------------------------
5.)
| | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: __
----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples"
you with the guy in stall 2. And we
wouldn't want THAT now, would we?
This differs from question 4 in such a
subtle way that the nuances cannot be
explained. Suffice to say, only men
would understand!
===============================================
-----------------------------
VERY tricky indeed Section
-----------------------------
6.)
| x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to
comb your hair or straighten a tie
until the urinals "open up" a bit more.
If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for
god's sake! ... use a doored stall.
===============================================
Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is
completely unacceptable.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I
see you there." (I will not look again)
--
_________________________________________________WWS_____________
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