Subject: SSSSSSSSSlackers...
Date: Fri, 24 Mar 2000 00:36:25 -0700
From: openbook@sirius.com (Blackhawk)
Organization: Search for Internet Text-based Intelligence
Message-ID: <openbook-2403000036260001@ppp-asfm02-104.sirius.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo
Blackhawk proudly presents!
"What if you found a plot hole to another dimension?
Where it's the same year,
and you're the same person,
but the plots are really old.
And what if your series kept getting renewed..."
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\ // ___|| |\__ _\ __\| |\_____\_ __\___\
\\\___ \| |/ _` |/ __| |/ / _ \ '__/ __|
\)___) | | (_| | (__| < __/ | \\__ \
\||____/|_|\__,_|\___|_|\_\___|_| \|___/
[FADE IN-
BLUE VORTEX opens into a back alley along the Information Superhighway. Our
"Slackers"; CAPTAIN INFINITY, MORTIS, LORI & BOZO THE EVIL KLOWN come
crashing through and fall into a row of dumpsters along a brick wall
The first one up is CAPTAIN INFINITY who has a half-eaten package of yellow
marshmallow PEEPS stuck to the side of his helmet, he is holding the TIMER]
INFINITY: Is everyone OK?
LORI: I'm OK.
MORTIS: This is a relative question. I am dead. Can I also be OK?
LORI: What am I doing in Blackhawk's story?
INFINITY: This is a "Sliders" parody and BH felt we really needed at least one
grrl because he really digs Kari Wuhrer's brea^H^H^H^H^ girlstuff
within the group dynamic. I agreed to this despite the fact that I
sincerely believe you are all demon spawn! (or was that Patrick)
Hey! you with the red nose, who are you?
BOZO: I-Am-He-Who-Thinks-You-Should-Check-The-Timer!
LORI: Good idea, how much time is left?
INFINITY: We have 98 lines of text before the next slack.
BOZO: Who-Thinks-We-Ought-To-Get-To-This-Universes-alt.fan.tom-servo?
LORI: Good idea, we should be safe there!
MORTIS: I see Lori is fulfilling the "girl sidekick" role quite well!
LORI: Why do people always presume I am a cultural illiterate?
INFINITY: I think "J." knows, but I'm tired of "Waiting for Jadot".
Let's go ahead to aft-s, after all what could happen to us there!
[Scene shifts to this universes aft-s, angry posters have cornered our heros
behind a review of "Family Guy"]
AFT-S
POSTERS: Hop! (flop) HOP! (flop) Hop! (flop) HOP! (flop) (flop) *HOP*
*HOP* (flop) HOP! (flop) (flop) Hop! #Hop# (flop) HOP!!!!
MORTIS: I can't believe we're under siege by the
Bosomy Bunny Battalion!
INFINITY: Who knew the Captain Infinity on this Earth would wear pants?!!
MORTIS: Or that my duplicate would be alive here!
BOZO: He-Who-Can't-Believe-His-Duplicate-Reviews-Sailor-Moon!
LORI: Listen guys, I have an idea. If everything here is so different,
there is probably someone *in charge* of aft-s here. We can explain
our situation to him or her and maybe they can help us get out
of here.
MORTIS: Wow! Fantastic idea!
BOZO Why-Did-I-Think-You-Were-A-Cultural-Illiterate?
LORI: Does he always talk like that?
MORTIS: He does in this story.
INFINITY: So how will you get the attention of this "Leader"?
LORI: That's easy, I'll just use this item I snatched from the room of
this Earth's BOZO...
[LORI pulls a tiara from her pocket and strikes a "mantis" pose on one toe]
LORI: MOON TIARA POoOowWWWWWEeERRR!!1!1!!
[LORI throws the tiara causing a huge ball of smoke and lightening in
front of our heros. Slowly the smoke begins to clear and the silhouette
of the "leader" begins to form through the haze]
LORI: OH MY GOD!!!!
MORTIS: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!1!!
INFINITY: I can't either, but there he is! IT'S DAN TROPEA!
ALL: And he's not WEARING ANY PANTS!!!!
BOZO: He-Who-Thinks-They-Should-Just-Shoot-Me-Now!
TROPEA: Hi gang! You must be "Slackers" from an alternate reality!
INFINITY: That obvious huh?
TROPEA: Our Lori is a cultural illiterate.
INFINITY: Oh.
TROPEA: Say Captain, I didn't know you had "Tapioca" tattooed
onto your left buttock!
INFINITY: Eeek!
TROPEA: Not to worry, you will all be leaving soon!
INFINITY: Oh my God! You mean you're a genius in this universe
and can help us get home?
TROPEA: No, i am this thick in every universe.
But I can see your timer is running out!
INFINITY: 1, 2, 3, Infinity!
TOOTER
TURTLE: Help Mr. Wizard! I don't wanna be in Blackhawk's story anymore
HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!
[Vortex appears, shot of turtle spinning]
MR.WIZARD: Drizzle, Drazzle, Drazzel, Drome, time for dis one to come home!
TURTLE: Gee Mr. Wizard, looks like I've made a mess of things again!
MR.WIZARD: Tooter, Tooter, Tooter. Alvays, alvays I tell you.
Be just vat yoo iz, not vat yoo iz not,
folks vat do dis iz de happiest lot.
and they all lived happily ever after, except Mortis who is dead.
THE END
Nest week on:
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
\ ____\ _\ \ \ \_\ \ \ \
\ // ___|| |\__ _\ __\| |\_____\_ __\___\
\\\___ \| |/ _` |/ __| |/ / _ \ '__/ __|
\)___) | | (_| | (__| < __/ | \\__ \
\||____/|_|\__,_|\___|_|\_\___|_| \|___/
Cap and the gang find an aft-s of Amish missionaries,
including Beth and Jaime!
MORTIS: Is that what you call the "Missionary Position"?
INFINITY: If you put pesto on it, you could call it spaghetti!
***
Blackhawk *peep*
...P.S. Dan, I'm just joking. But Usenet must be tough for someone
with such a short attention span.
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