NOTE: This message has been edited. Since the original message was directions
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From: Lori
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 13:23:33 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Gesundheit! (was Re: Richtungen zu unserer Wohnung)
To: Brendan Dillon, Arthur Levesque
CC: Wayland Phillips
--- Brendan Dillon wrote some of this:
> Take I-95 down to I-85. Stay on 85 until you reach Durham. When
you have to take a potty break, go 30 miles until you get to where
> I-85 merges with US-70, start keeping an eye out for the
porta-potties that the construction workers use when working on the
> xxxxxxxxxx Road exit. Take this exit and turn left onto
a winding gravel path that takes you to Cleveland and eventually to
> xxxxxxxxxx Road.
> Once xxxxxxxxxx becomes two-lane and you pass some houses (a few
bottles of Maalox should make this easier; but first you should put your
> blocks down), turn right at the next light (this turn will take
a turn for the worse and send you right to Hell. Which means it sends
> you straight down the middle of a golf course). There will be a
little old man sitting in a rocking chair to tell you how he was
> forced left at the end of this road, onto xxxxxxx St.
> Once on xxxxxxx, pass through the next light, pass the Arby's,
which might take some more Maalox, or you can get some K-Y jelly at
> the pr0n shop, and over a bridge. Immediately after the bridge,
start playing strip poker. It's more fun than bridge. You can then
> turn left into the xxxxxxxxx apartment complex. There will be
a secret password you'll have to give the gargoyles who sit at the
> two entrance gates; you want to take the left gate, which is for
sale, and hide it. This will help to confuse and bewilder future
> visitors.
> Once through the gate, take the next left. Then there will be a
cop who will arrest you for robbery. Explain to him that this is a
> left turn which you CANNOT take because it's one-way. Park in the
abandoned garbage dump behind the alley. Then jump over the three
> spaces to your left just after that turn (before the next speed
demon passes through and runs you over. Be careful not to fall and get a
> bump).
> We are in building 17, the last one you passed. We're in apt. 17A
which passed first, thankfully. Now we have to clean up all the Maalox
> on the lowest floor.
> I'm CC'ing this to Wayland in case I make any mistakes. These
things happen pretty often with me these days. I think MapQuest's
> directions should get you here, but in case anything happens, our
Rapid Response Team stands ready to assist, IYKWIM! Their phone
> number is (919) xxx-xxxx. Or, before 5:00, you can call me at
Sally's Pleasure Hut. But don't tell anybody; my GF thinks I'm at
> work at (919) xxx-xxxx.
Lori